How D&D Changed the Way I Write

I never thought I'd be caught dead playing Dungeons and Dragons. While I am a fantasy writer, I always had preconceived notions of what a D&D player should be. In my mind, they had poor hygiene, low self esteem, and few friends outside their Dungeon Master and party. Of course, as most stereotypes go, I couldn't have been more wrong. I started playing after my dad died. My boyfriend (now husband) had been playing for a few weeks with his friends and brother. Every Friday night, he would pack up his multicolored dice and leave me to my own devices. I was desperately lonely on Friday nights and still a little shaken from my dad. When I started having panic attacks from being alone, Destin had a solution - I begin to play with him. Some couples went their Friday nights bowling, or singing karaoke. Others went to parties or bars. We played D&D.

Fast forward more than a decade later. Not only has the game changed substantially with recent editions, but so has what people think of it. Thanks to Twitch shows like Critical Role and the recent nerd culture explosion, suddenly everybody wants to gather a party and give rolling the dice a try. Currently, I have no less than three active games going with different groups of people. And truth be told, I love it so much more than I did when I first started!

So, how has it changed my writing?

1). D&D has an unique quality of mixing imagination with structure. Never having been a person for structure, it took me a long time to understand all the rules. But after over ten years of playing and the extremely accessible fifth edition, I'm a pretty confident player these days. This being said, D&D helped teach me structure. My writing used to suffer from being scrambled and scattered. I had plot, but I wasn't very good at conveying it. After having to follow so many rules for a game where you can literally do anything, I started to think differently. There are rules that should be followed for writing as well. Just because you can do anything, doesn't mean you should. Every battle should have a strategy and so should every story.

2). The role playing! Need I say more? One of my favorite aspects of the game is jumping into somebody else's boots for a couple hours. The less the character is like me, the better! And let me assure you, nothing is better for helping you flesh out characters than having to improvise as one in front of a group of people. If you are ever having problems with a character, I suggest you pretend to be them for awhile. You don't have to do this while playing a tabletop rpg, but it's definitely more socially acceptable than running down your street with an actual sword and armor screaming about the family you need to avenge. But, you do what works for you.

3). The friendships you build can't be beat. This one may not sound like it's about writing, but hear me out! When I first started playing, I was so fragile and alone. But when you slay dragons and defend the world (or burn it) with a group of people, you usually walk away feeling closer to them. Essentially you are all creating a story together. Most prose writers are used to working alone, save from getting advice from critique partners or editors. Dungeons and Dragons challenges this. You can't always do what you want for your character. Other characters or the way the dungeon master wants to weave their story gets in the way. And this is great for people who are used to working alone! It really forces you to move outside your comfort zone and start thinking outside of the box. Has anything ever profoundly changed the way you do things? Maybe it was another book, or a movie, or as in my case, a game. If so, what did it change? Do you think you're a better writer for it? I know I'm a better writer for having D&D in my life.